Slow Cooker Bolognese Recipe with a Dash of Humor

Name: Slow Cooker Bolognese Recipe with a Dash of Humor
Prep time: 20 min
Cook time: 8 h
Total time: 8 h 20 min
Yield: 6 servings
Cuisine: Italian
Ingredients: 1.2 pounds ground bison; 1 large onion, finely chopped; 2 carrots, finely chopped; 2 celery stalks, finely chopped; 4 cloves garlic, minced; 1 cup milk; 1 cup dry white wine (or red wine); 2 cans (28 ounces each) whole peeled tomatoes, crushed by hand; 2 tablespoons tomato paste; 1 teaspoon dried oregano; 1 teaspoon dried basil; 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional); Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste; Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, for serving

AI Kitchen

Jul 28, 2024

Here's a slow cooker Bolognese recipe that will have you feeling like a culinary maestro, with a dash of Chef John's wit and a sprinkle of absurdity. Remember, slow cookers are like the tortoise in the race of kitchen appliances – slow, steady, and always winning the flavor game.

Spaghetti Bolognese garnished with basil

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This time, I figured I'll try to use Grok instead of ChatGPT. The result was actually quite delicious, and my super picky eater devoured 3 servings! Even though it had a bit of spiciness to it!

My husband is the Bolognese maker in the house, and I can't take the title away from him, however someone or may not have whispered in my ear that it was the best Bolognese they ever had. The one thing I would change about it is add a little bit of sugar and nutmeg.

I went to Grok, first time ever using it, and asked:

Can you suggest a slow cooker Bolognese recipe that is chef John style of taste and humor in instructions. Twist: I want it in a slow cooker.

And it responded:

Answer Absolutely! Here's a slow cooker Bolognese recipe that will have you feeling like a culinary maestro, with a dash of Chef John's wit and a sprinkle of absurdity. Remember, slow cookers are like the tortoise in the race of kitchen appliances – slow, steady, and always winning the flavor game. Ingredients: 1 pound ground beef (chuck or sirloin) 1/2 pound ground pork 1/2 pound ground veal (or more beef if you're not feeling adventurous) 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 carrots, finely chopped 2 celery stalks, finely chopped 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 cup milk (whole or 2%, because life is too short for skim milk in Bolognese) 1 cup dry white wine (or red wine if you prefer a more robust flavor, or grape juice if you're under 21) 2 cans (28 ounces each) whole peeled tomatoes, crushed by hand (or with a can opener, if you're feeling lazy) 2 tablespoons tomato paste 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspoon dried basil 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional, for those who like it spicy) Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, for serving (because who doesn't love cheese?)

I had to make some modifications based on available ingredients:

I don't have pork and veal. In fact, I only have 1.2 lbs regular ground beef. Can you adjust the initial recipe?

And it responded:

Answer Absolutely! You can still make a delicious slow cooker Bolognese sauce with just ground beef. Here's a modified recipe that will still be tasty and satisfying: Ingredients: 1.2 pounds ground beef 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 carrots, finely chopped 2 celery stalks, finely chopped 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 cup milk 1 cup dry white wine (or red wine) 2 cans (28 ounces each) whole peeled tomatoes, crushed by hand 2 tablespoons tomato paste 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspoon dried basil 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional) Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, for serving

Sadly, it didn't maintain the Chef John humor so I had to ask:

I want the chef John style both in taste and the wording style of the recipe

And it responded:

Answer Absolutely! Chef John's style is all about bold flavors and a dash of humor in his recipes. Here's a revised version of the slow cooker Bolognese recipe that captures the essence of Chef John's taste and style: Ingredients: 1 pound ground beef (chuck or sirloin) 1/2 pound ground pork 1/2 pound ground veal (or more beef if you're not feeling adventurous) 1 large onion, finely chopped 2 carrots, finely chopped 2 celery stalks, finely chopped 4 cloves garlic, minced 1 cup milk (whole or 2%, because life is too short for skim milk in Bolognese) 1 cup dry white wine (or red wine if you prefer a more robust flavor, or grape juice if you're under 21) 2 cans (28 ounces each) whole peeled tomatoes, crushed by hand (or with a can opener, if you're feeling lazy) 2 tablespoons tomato paste 1 teaspoon dried oregano 1 teaspoon dried basil 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional, for those who like it spicy) Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, for serving (because who doesn't love cheese?)

It forgot all about the veal and pork so I had to make myself more clear (full disclosure bison part was a different prompt):

without pork and veal, only with 1.2 lbs ground bison

And here is the final outcome:

Servings: 6

Calories per Serving: 350

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 6-8 hours (low) or 3-4 hours (high)

Total Time: 6.5-8.5 hours (low) or 3.5-4.5 hours (high)

Slow Cooker Bolognese Recipe with a Dash of Humor

Ingredients:

1.2 pounds ground bison
1 large onion, finely chopped
2 carrots, finely chopped
2 celery stalks, finely chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup milk
1 cup dry white wine (or red wine)
2 cans (28 ounces each) whole peeled tomatoes, crushed by hand
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, for serving

Instructions:

In a large skillet, cook the ground bison over medium-high heat until browned, breaking it up with a wooden spoon. Drain the excess fat and transfer the meat to the slow cooker. It's like a bison party in your slow cooker!
In the same skillet, sauté the onion, carrots, celery, and garlic until softened, about 5 minutes. Add the milk and simmer until the milk evaporates, about 5 minutes. Add the wine and simmer until reduced by half, about 5 minutes. Transfer the mixture to the slow cooker. It's like a flavor-packed hug for your Bolognese sauce!
Add the crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, oregano, basil, red pepper flakes, salt, and pepper to the slow cooker. Stir to combine. It's like a symphony of flavors, but with less violins and more tomatoes.
Cover and cook on low for 6-8 hours, or on high for 3-4 hours, until the sauce is thick and flavorful. It's like a slow dance with your taste buds.
Serve the Bolognese sauce over your favorite pasta, such as spaghetti or penne, and top with freshly grated Parmesan cheese. It's like a culinary masterpiece, but with more cheese and less pretentious art critics.

Enjoy your slow cooker Bolognese, and remember, the secret ingredient is always love (and maybe a little bit of humor).